I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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