his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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