The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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