if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I want her autograph on my taint
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
