Christians are straight up FREAKS
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
