Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
