The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize
