i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
