yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize