My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
