i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
