I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I've blown a few things in my day
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I need a burrito and a hug.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
