i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This is classic penis vs brain.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
