So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
