We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
