There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
