Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I got chris browned last night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
