Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize