Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm too high and old for this...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
