Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
my poor anus
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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