i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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