I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
In other news, I just burned my penis
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
do nipples grow back?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
