WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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