also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
