Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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