what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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