She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The uberlube is also flammable
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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