summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Congratulations! We have a period
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
