Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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