another moral hangover. fuck.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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