He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
