Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
