If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
