the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
