He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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