Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
