i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
