Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
