Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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