He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
