I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
