Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(343): View more from Ontario

No awkward lesbian experiences without me

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(228): View more from Mississippi

yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations

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(512): View more from Texas

We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"

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(360): View more from Washington

Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent

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(214): View more from Texas

Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

Why did you want to do any of that?

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

so how was it...?

(1-304): View more from West Virginia

sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.

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(442): View more from California

I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass

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