he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
