I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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