Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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