all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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