i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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