Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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