My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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