Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize