i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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