K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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