also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
