I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
