I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
