Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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