We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
