god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize